tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post7258498816335347670..comments2024-02-05T00:16:13.698-05:00Comments on Banjo52: "On the Subway," 2. Visitor Comments. MishMash.Banjo52http://www.blogger.com/profile/04342397136888422440noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-53473461790553479832010-03-12T13:01:18.493-05:002010-03-12T13:01:18.493-05:00Make that 'self-destructive personality' i...Make that 'self-destructive personality' instead of addictive.Brenda's Arizonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17880225110712592548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-8859915471553938402010-03-12T12:59:05.865-05:002010-03-12T12:59:05.865-05:00AH, I see our local library has The Braindead Mega...AH, I see our local library has The Braindead Megaphone available... am on my way there soon this afternoon!<br /><br />Banjoman, it is interesting what everyone's take on this poem would be if the 'antagonist' where an obese person eating candy bars while on the subway. Why is a young black man 'frightening' but someone with an addictive habit (of choice) not so much? I have more problem 'being kind to' one with addictive personality/habit than I do skin tone.Brenda's Arizonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17880225110712592548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-59701799498317779082010-03-12T11:27:36.116-05:002010-03-12T11:27:36.116-05:00I like the Olds poem. I identified with some parts...I like the Olds poem. I identified with some parts, but maybe because I read them differently? <br /><br />I have not been insulted by anything written, and I hope I haven't insulted anyone in return. <br /><br />I tend to see trust too soon. The twist in the Olds poem kinda opened in my eyes, when she starts seeing him as a potential bad guy. I can see looking at someone and running thru the encyclopedia in my head: is he a mugger? is he a kid on a way to a job? is he a father? is he a student? is he friendly? Hmmm, maybe I will ask? I do that all the time in the grocery store - I talk to the people behind me. If the person is an older man, I see him as a gentleman and I want to know more. Usually women don't talk back - they look at me like a burden. But old men? They always talk back. Teenagers usually talk, too. I think they are curious why an adult is talking to them! <br /><br />Anyway, my point is, if someone sees the fear in Olds' poem, I can't discount it. But I can rejoice that I still have the optimistic hope in me. If someone sees the sexual twist in the poem, well I didn't and I blush when it was pointed out. If someone is angry that Olds is a bigot, I didn't see it. I saw a bus rider who observed many things and put her spin on them. I read the comments as even more ideas and spins that I didn't have. <br /><br />I don't want to guard my heart, as Pierre posted. I want to use my heart to gather more knowledge. Just as a brain is a sponge, a heart can be, too.<br /><br />My trust of strangers? Nurture, I think. Taught as a kid that everyone has a story. For that alone, I trust 'em. Tell me a story that is twisted into victimhood, well, I listened once. I don't trust people with the victim mentality. I don't even like them. <br /><br />I do think that 'mob mentality' can sway the trust. I wonder if I had been in the Kitty Genovese neighborhood, would I have ignored the screams because it seemed like the thing to do? I don't know... I don't want to know. <br /><br />Living in India with such extreme poverty, everyone said to ignore it, that you can't cure it. As a 13 year old, I tried to make a difference - but you know what? I couldn't cure it. I couldn't even change that one beggar child's life. <br /><br />I think I am ready for another poem, Banjoman.Brenda's Arizonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17880225110712592548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-66345742481852897462010-03-12T10:20:45.651-05:002010-03-12T10:20:45.651-05:00Hey, a little off topic, but I just read the best ...Hey, a little off topic, but I just read the best piece of criticism evah. "The United States of Huck," by George Saunders (collected in The Braindead Megaphone). Love for you and Sister Woman to read it and give your take. Of course, I'm partial. Huck Finn is on my top ten list, maybe top five.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-44101667972428398682010-03-11T19:26:52.120-05:002010-03-11T19:26:52.120-05:00Where did I make women sound fearful and helpless?...Where did I make women sound fearful and helpless? When I referred to "ma'am" in the broken down car example? Sorry. <br /><br />Apparently I'm not supposed to say so out loud, but as a male, I might have felt fearful and helpless in that situation. In fact, as a mechanical moron, who is a male, I PROBABLY would have.<br /><br />Are you disallowing all women AND all men from feeling fear or helplessness? Fearlessness is the NORM for both genders? <br /><br />In my most recent comment here, I made several statements and asked several questions (BIG questions, I thought) that were (I thought) gender-neutral. It SEEMS that all you heard was an insult to women on the grounds that they are human and have vulnerabilities, like other humans (I guess that means men).<br /><br />Or are you mad at me for liking the Sharon Olds poem?Banjo52https://www.blogger.com/profile/04342397136888422440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-37719112408208846892010-03-11T10:17:23.801-05:002010-03-11T10:17:23.801-05:00I'm still surprised you don't understand t...I'm still surprised you don't understand the heat. You made women sound fearful and helpless, and that my lad is an insult.<br /><br />Clearly Brenda has traveled far more than I, but I've been all over the US and Europe by myself. There was no one to meet but strangers, and 90% of them were lovely. The couple of times I miscalculated and found myself in a sticky wicket, I kept my head and got out of it.<br /><br />I think the tendancy is for humans to turn towards each other, not away.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-34352459508550435232010-03-11T08:35:39.560-05:002010-03-11T08:35:39.560-05:00A.Hiker, first, let me applaud your confession of ...A.Hiker, first, let me applaud your confession of a fear of broccoli. More timid souls would have kept that in the closet. <br /><br />And Pierre, thanks for raising the issue of that other kind of fear, which is indeed probably more common than fear of physical harm--though I'd want data from professionals before agreeing. <br /><br />A.Hiker, yes, I'm aware of the stats on murder or abuse in the home (though I don't mean I can cite them). Also, last I heard, 10% of those abuses were inflicted by the female upon the male. <br /><br />What you say about our Ohio River lad makes sense, and I've had somewhat the same experience, though there were other factors involved. <br /><br />I still don't entirely trust "the kindness of strangers" as anyone's first instinct, but I suppose neither of us will know unless it happens. Surely someone has written a dissertation or a plain old book about this?<br /><br />New questions arise. First, for the folks like you, and a portion of me, who trust strangers (they might help or they simply might be interesting), where does that confidence come from? Is it as instinctive, as built into our wiring, as the fight or flight syndrome (which, by the way, seems to be a scientific fact, not some Banjo invention)? <br /><br />Or is that confidence or lack of anxiety conditioned in one's early years? (I'm betting on the latter).<br /><br />How come our children's tales and now the TV news and cop-dramas are so full of the fear of strangers? Apparently, writers over centuries have thought they were tapping into a universal human fear of the unknown, narrowed down to boogie men. <br /><br />On the other hand, there ARE boogie men out there. It's not that ALL butchery is committed by family. (Do you happen to know the stats?)<br /><br />Secondly, would you agree that your thoughts about the helping stranger are just that--THOUGHTS, a cognitive process, more than a raw instinct?<br /><br />Third, which category has more members, those who trust strangers or those who don't? And to repeat, what accounts for the difference? <br /><br />And A.H., Brenda, what is it about this subject that made you want to throw things at me, made you want to scream? I understand disagreement, but "why the heat?" (I realize, or hope, that some of the heat was playful. Still, nerves were touched, and I'm not sure why . . . .).<br /><br />Finally, to anyone reading this, this is the kind of conversation I hope for here. I hope no one thinks s/he should refrain because the subject is touchy. Let's just stay away from "deliberate cruelty" to each other, if I may stick with Blanche DuBois lingo for another second.Banjo52https://www.blogger.com/profile/04342397136888422440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-59322205519769826922010-03-11T08:01:23.834-05:002010-03-11T08:01:23.834-05:00A man - or a woman- has the power to intimidate, t...A man - or a woman- has the power to intimidate, to manipulate. Even in being nice, one might be manipulating.<br /><br />But fear? If I woke up to a fire in my house, I'd be afraid, horribly afraid. A fire does not intimidate or manipulate.<br /><br />Maybe all this is just a play on words.Brenda's Arizonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17880225110712592548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-77641116110905258092010-03-10T22:20:05.486-05:002010-03-10T22:20:05.486-05:00I'd actually be relieved if it were a man. I s...I'd actually be relieved if it were a man. I stereotype. Men generally are better with cars, especially the hick-type as opposed to the poet-type.<br /><br />In truth, Banjo, and I'm looking you in the eye, I'd be relieved someone stopped to help. I'm not afraid of strangers. You know most murders happen in the bosom of the family, don't you?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-5129878584295568822010-03-10T21:18:21.315-05:002010-03-10T21:18:21.315-05:00Pierre, welcome and thanks for pitching in. Hope y...Pierre, welcome and thanks for pitching in. Hope you return.<br /><br />So, you others, on the subject of The Other . . . let's take the racial element out of it. Let's say you're white, you're alone, and your car breaks down on a back road at night in rural Illinois, down by the Ohio River, down in the hills. The battery on your cell is dead. <br /><br />A large white guy in a decrepit vehicle pulls up beside you. He is tall and broad-shouldered. He needs a muffler; he needs a shave; he needs clean overalls. He spits tobacco and asks if you need help, ma'am. He seems to grin or wink or offer some other unusual gesture--maybe it's sinister, maybe it's just a cultural thing, but you don't know. <br /><br />Are you trying to tell me you don't have flash of fear before you try to convince yourself he's a pillar of the local Grange and sings in the Baptist choir and might be a good sitter for your kids and pets? <br /><br />That last stuff of COURSE might well be true. But look me in the eye and tell me that's your FIRST reaction, your gut reaction, your animal reaction. <br /><br />And tell me it would be the same reaction if this Samaritan, good or otherwise, were a woman.Banjo52https://www.blogger.com/profile/04342397136888422440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-30587968861234969022010-03-10T12:03:22.640-05:002010-03-10T12:03:22.640-05:00Thanks for stopping by my blog.
If your latest po...Thanks for stopping by my blog.<br /><br />If your latest post is only referring to fear of physical harm caused by another, I would agree with your critics. However, there is also the emotional factor. Can two strangers really trust each other even if there is no apparent outward threat? One could viciously attack another verbally.<br />We all fiercely guard out hearts.Pierrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04137114728827304111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-3472692614338935332010-03-10T11:09:33.520-05:002010-03-10T11:09:33.520-05:00Well said, Karin.Well said, Karin.Brenda's Arizonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17880225110712592548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-68707548633646424072010-03-10T10:28:52.361-05:002010-03-10T10:28:52.361-05:00Even, or maybe especially, in the reptilian brain ...Even, or maybe especially, in the reptilian brain I don't think men and women fear each other. I think we fear earthquakes and tidal waves and hurricanes and sharks and public speaking and broccoli, but not each other.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-85583401594359907742010-03-10T08:02:51.477-05:002010-03-10T08:02:51.477-05:00Just a lot of Wimmin codetalk.Just a lot of Wimmin codetalk.Brenda's Arizonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17880225110712592548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-42302983971598059342010-03-09T20:05:45.104-05:002010-03-09T20:05:45.104-05:00What is going on here??????????What is going on here??????????Banjo52https://www.blogger.com/profile/04342397136888422440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-66540576245811320542010-03-09T15:30:30.003-05:002010-03-09T15:30:30.003-05:00Well, me for one, didn't think you wanted a po...Well, me for one, didn't think you wanted a post. At least not mine! <br /><br />Fear? Flight? NO!<br /><br />You make me scream.Brenda's Arizonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17880225110712592548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-43240529425620850132010-03-09T15:24:15.102-05:002010-03-09T15:24:15.102-05:00Wow. Remind me not to move to California. And if ...Wow. Remind me not to move to California. And if the Sister Wimmin join you, I might not even be safe in the Midwest.<br /><br />Before I move and change the locks, I'll re-read what I wrote . . .Banjo52https://www.blogger.com/profile/04342397136888422440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883979841111173610.post-34590190209398796122010-03-09T11:45:54.294-05:002010-03-09T11:45:54.294-05:00Oh, I can't even read this to the end because ...Oh, I can't even read this to the end because you made me mad, and I think you did it intentionally. (I'm easy that way.)<br /><br />To say that this supercillious, scared, will-be/wanna-be victim of a woman represents the distaff side of almost all relationships makes me throw things in your general direction.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com