Jul 26, 2009

Post-Modern Science-Lite

Music is a conversation.

Above . . . Barnacle Doug
Riffs to His Rock

A friend of mine, who knows what he’s talking about, suggests that science must be a conversation between a well-intentioned human investigator and nature, who will reply if asked the right questions in the right way. In that spirit, I offer the following, based on lay research and lay understanding.

The barnacle is a shell-like creature who attaches himself to a rock. When the seas get rough, the barnacle sends out a thread, like a spider web, which attaches him more firmly to his friend, the rock.

Because barnacles are stationary and fixed, they must mate with their closest neighbor. This is accomplished by having a strong and stretchable penis. After the mating season the penis is thrown away, and a new one develops the following year.

If adaptability and faith are major factors in determining which species will survive, surely the barnacle, with one of his other friends, the cockroach, will outlive humans by at least four eons.

Equally hard science, based on extensive research throughout Scandinavia, Tibet, and Wisconsin, has revealed no greater act of focus, strength or will to survive in animals, plants, or humans.

Philosophers and poets are gathering in Lithuania and West Virginia to study the chemistry of the barnacle thread and its relevance to love, both erotic and Platonic. Stay tuned.




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3 comments:

heidi223 said...

Personally, I'd like to attach myself to your musician friend's hull. With such beautiful hands, it doesn't much matter who's beyond the frame. That's one lucky guitar!

BANJO52 said...

Wow, Heidi, don't hold back or nothin . . . . I'll tell Mr. Hands dude he's got a fan, but I wouldn't be surprised if he already suspects it.

bettertry said...

I understand barnacles are very useful and should not be underestimated. As you may recall, "Keelhauling" was a severe form of corporal punishment meted out to sailors at sea. The sailor was tied to a rope that looped beneath the vessel, thrown overboard on one side of the ship, and dragged under the ship's keel to the other side. As the hulls back then were covered in barnacles much pain, agony and injury were inflicted by the barnacles during keelhauling.

Lovers' Lane